Not The Size That Counts
by Jasper1863Hale
Summary: An issue with auto correct leaves Jasper agitated, but then he's in for a very pleasant surprise. AH / Slash


**A/N: I do not own the characters or locations in this story, I just own the plot. **

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**Not The Size That Counts**

"What have you got planned this weekend, Jazz?"

"Nothing really. Pizza, baseball on TV, the usual. My parents are out of town so I've got the place to myself."

"Your parents are out of town?"

"That's what I said, isn't it?"

"Dude, you totally have to throw a party!"

"What? Fuck no; if they find out they'll kill me."

"Don't be a pussy. Throw a party. Keg on the deck,. girls everywhere. It'll be epic!"

Why did I listen to Mike fucking Newton of all people?

That was just during lunch. By the end of last lesson the same day, Newton had spread the word round the whole school that I would be throwing a party on Saturday night. Part of me screamed that I can't throw a party; my parents would have a shit fit. The other part of me, the well raised Southern boy part of me, told me that with so many people hearing of it I couldn't let them down. Not only would it mean that there would be a school full of disappointed teenagers, it would also mean that the reputation I had struggled to build in the year since moving from Texas would be ruined.

Ah, Texas. How I miss you. I miss the simple life. I miss my old friends. I miss my family still living there. I miss the sun, the heat, the colourful sunsets. I miss being dry and warm all the time. Most of all, I miss the reputation I had. It's so hard to be the new kid.

I hadn't even wanted to move to Forks. It had all been my mama's fault. The publishing company she had worked at for most her adult life had gotten an opening at a big printing firm in Port Angeles. All thanks to some author who put Port Angeles and Forks on the world map through some vampire story or some shit. Fans from all around the world flock to these sleepy towns to try and find a vampire. Trust me I've seen them. You can't turn a corner without seeing a breathless teen girl sporting a 'dazzle me, Edward' or 'imprint me, Jacob' t-shirt.

Anyway, due to the demand on copies of the books, companions, posters and god knows what else, they needed a new head publisher in the area. My mama jumped at the chance when she heard about it. She's 'team Jacob' apparently, whatever that means. But she got the job because she's good at what she does. It just meant that she uprooted me from my life in Houston and dragged me and my pa to the opposite end of the States to this dreary rain drenched town. My pa's a fireman so it was easy enough for him to get a transfer to a different station and keep his job position.

I think what I miss most about Texas is the privacy. Back home there were 300 plus students to each year group. You counted on the fact that only friends knew each other by name, everyone else was a stranger. Here in Forks, there's 300 plus students in the whole school. Everyone knows you by name. Everyone knows your business. For example I knew well enough that Newton's family ran the outfitters in town, Bella's pa is Chief of police. Newton fancies Bella big time, but she won't give him the light of day because she's got it hot for Edward.

Edward. Mr Perfect. All the girls crush on him but he only has eyes for Bella. His family is really rich. His pa is chief surgeon in the town and his ma is an antique restorer. He has everything he wants whereas the rest of us schmucks have to work our asses off just to save a few dollars. Needless to say, everyone takes the piss out of him for his name. So old fashioned, but more so because of this book and movie franchise. I see the girls walking the school hallways sporting 'Team Edward' t-shirts and throwing him a wink as they pass him by. He tends to roll his eyes and ignore them. Last Halloween he even went to the school dance dressed as a vampire just to show the school it didn't bother him.

"Hey, Whitlock! Wait up!"

Speak of the fucking devil. I was just about to get into my piece of shit Honda and Mr Perfect shouts on me. I toss my bag onto the passenger seat and turn, looking to him as he jogs across the lot to me. He made jogging look so effortless. He's on the school cross country team, running long distances. He didn't have to wear shorts for you to know his legs must be well muscled from all the running. If I tried to jog across the parking lot like he is I'd be gasping for breath and taking pulls on my inhaler. Asthma sucks, but it gets me out of strenuous gym classes.

"Hey, I hear you're having a party Saturday night. You really inviting the whole school?"

He stops near me and leans against my car. It might be a piece of shit, but it's still my pride and joy. I'd endured months of weekend work pumping gas at the one gas station in town to buy this car. Just because his 'daddy' bought him a brand new Volvo he thinks he can lounge against other peoples cars because they're not as good. I hold my tongue on that issue though.

"I didn't invite anyone, Edward. I didn't even plan to have a party. It's all Newton's idea and now I'm getting the rap for it."

"Well I think a party is a good idea, but the whole school? Hell no."

I nod my head in agreement and close my car door to keep the interior dry from the misty drizzle. I lean against the door and glance around the lot as other students rush to their cars to get home.

"My place isn't even big enough. I think maybe thirty at the very most."

"Oh…well can Bella and I be numbers 29 and 30?"

I turn my head, looking back to him with a raised eyebrow. Did he really just come across the lot to ask me if he can come to the party I'd not even planned on having? Edward barely talks to me any other time. He just tends to keep to himself and Bella. I really think the last time he spoke to me was months ago and that was just to ask me to pass the salt at lunch.

"Erm…ok."

"Cool. Anything you want us to bring? Chips? Dip? Beer?"

"Erm…sure, all that."

I hadn't the money to buy stuff for this party let alone wanting to even if I had the money. I still dreaded my parents finding out about it. My mama would hit the roof if anything got broken or misplaced. As for my papa, he's as Southern as they come and still believes in not sparing the rod.

Edward smiled and nodded once, clapping a hand to my shoulder. The force had me stumbling forward. All those muscles he builds running track sure make him strong.

"Cool. See you on Saturday."

He turned and jogged his way back along the lot, weaving in and out of cars that were starting to leave school. I watched him as he took keys from his pockets; pressing a button on the key ring that made the Volvo lights flash and he opened the door and got in. I sighed and re-opened my own door, slipping into the slightly damp seat and starting the engine. I sat a while, waiting for the ancient heater system to kick in before pulling out of the now almost empty school lot. All the way home all I could think was that I've got a shit load to do, no time to do it and everyone was counting on me. This sucked.

When I got home my pa was out on a fire call. Fires are few and far between in Forks itself, everywhere too damned wet to catch light. Most likely it was another stranded cat up a tree. Either way I was grateful he wasn't home. He could tell a lie a mile away with me, and if a subject for this weekend comes up he'll know I'm hiding something.

Mama wasn't in from work yet; with her hours and the commute from Port Angeles she normally didn't arrive home until after seven. Pa had left money and a note on the table. He wanted me to order in pizza and leave him some in the oven to keep warm. I ordered a pizza with all the toppings he had written down and then, being promised it would be no longer than an hour, I trudged to my room to start homework.

At least back in Texas I found the homework challenging. Here in Forks the curriculum was fairly simple. By the time the pizza arrived I had completed both my English assignment and my Calculus questions. I plated up some pizza for myself, leaving the rest in the oven for pa, and grabbed a soda from the fridge before retreating to my room again.

I now just had to eat and start on my latest project for Art class, but a flashing from my bed drew my attention away from homework. My cell phone was flashing. I put the plate and soda down on the desk and crossed to the bed. It was a message from someone and I opened it expecting it to be Pa or Newton, instead it was from someone I didn't know even had my number.

Edward.

*Hey Whitlock. About the party on Saturday. Bella has a friend from La Push who wants to come. Is that ok? Edward*

I frowned as I read the message through twice more before sighing and sending a reply.

*Sure, I guess that's fine. How did you get my number anyway?*

I put my phone down and stood to return to my desk, before I had even made it two steps it flashed again and I sighed and trudged back to the bed.

*Got it from Newton*

Newton. Idiot could have at least called me first to ask if it was fine to give my number out. He better not have given it to every kid in school. I didn't bother responding; instead I just carried my phone to the desk with me, grimly anticipating more random messages.

None came through as I ate my pizza and relieved at that fact, I began work on my Art project. I heard the door open and close downstairs at some point. Pa was home from the call out. He didn't call up to me; likely he just had his pizza and was lounging down in front of the TV.

As I was just beginning to add shading to my sketch, my phone flashed again. I reluctantly picked it up and opened the message, dreading finding out who was texting me now, but it was Edward again.

*Hey. My sister wants to come along too. I'd say no but it's your call*

Was he serious? Jeez, it's gone from Bella and Edward wanting to come to now a kid from La Push and Edward's sister wanting to come. I sighed and sent my reply, feeling agitated as I did so.

*Don't invite too many people to my party Sat night. I know you haven't seen it yet but my dick is tiny*

I tossed my phone aside after pressing send and, after a big swallow of soda, I picked up my pencil to continue shading my sketch. Before the pencil nib had even touched the paper my phone was flashing again. With a groan of frustration I slammed down my pencil and snatched up my phone, opening the message.

*You have a tiny dick? HAHAHA prepare to never live this down*

What the fuck? Why the hell is Edward going on about me having a tiny dick? With a frown I checked my sent message and my eyes grew wide with shock. I felt my chest tighten as I re-read the words I had sent to him moments before. Fuck. I had just told Edward I have a tiny dick. So not true, but since I didn't do gym class much how was he to know it wasn't true? Oh fuck!

My chest tightened more and I quickly dug into my jeans pocket, pulling out my inhaler. I took a deep puff of the medicine and held it within my lungs for ten seconds before breathing out again. The tightness had eased a little. I sent a new message, hoping to undo the mess I had caused.

*MY DECK YOU ASSHOLE*

I wanted to send more. I wanted to tell him my true dick size and have him spread that around school instead of the message I had sent him. Maybe calling him an asshole hadn't been wise and would increase the tension here, but I hated being laughed at, even through a message. The phone flashed again and I opened the message immediately. I expected another laugh, another wind up joke. Instead there was just one word.

*Riiiiiiight*

Was he mocking me? Fuck him! If he told anyone then I'd mess his face up with my fist so fast that even Bella wouldn't want to go near him again. I would make sure he knew to keep quiet too.

*You better not spread this round the town Edward or I swear to god I'll kill you, asshole!*

I gripped my phone tighter waiting on his response. Another cocky message was sure to come through any second. The longer I waited, staring at the phone, the more my anger began to grow. I stared for what seemed forever until there was a knock on my door making me jump.

'What?!'

The door opened and I turned in my seat to see my mama stood there looking at me.

'Don't talk to me in that tone, Jasper. I just came up to see how school was today.'

'Oh…erm, yeah it was fine, mama. Sorry, I didn't mean to shout I just…I can't get this sketch to come out right; it's frustrating.'

I had quickly turned back to the sketch I had left abandoned on my desk. I heard her coming into the room behind me and I slipped my phone under my history book to hide the messages. She leaned over my shoulder, taking a look at my art project, quiet for a few seconds.

'Hmm…maybe a little more shading over here, sweetheart. This is really good, you know. You'll be the next Michelangelo.'

I clicked my tongue and rolled my eyes as I glanced up to her.

'I don't want to be an artist. I want to be a fireman like pa.'

Mama smiled and raised a hand to brush the fallen fringe of honey curls from my eyes.

'I know. I was just saying that you draw really well. Well, I'm going to have some supper then go to bed. Don't stay up too late, sweetie.'

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes as she leaned down kissing my cheek, I just nodded my head and watched her walk to my door.

'Night mama.'

She closed the door behind her and I sighed, turning back to face my desk and picking up my phone. There was still no new message. I checked the time on the phone. It was almost 8pm already. Had I really stared at the screen for over two hours waiting for his response? I don't know why I had let it get to me so much either. If he did spread it around saying that I had a tiny dick then I'd just have to find a girl to take a look, and then tell everyone that Edward is a liar.

I sighed and put the phone down as I continued with my sketch, adding shading where mama had suggested; it made it look better. By the time I was satisfied enough to call it 'finished' it was almost 10pm. There was still no answer from Edward. Hopefully my response had been enough to scare him off. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and got into bed. The stress of the upcoming party was weighing heavy on me and I fell asleep quickly.

That night I dreamt that I was in my biology class. I had to stand at the front and read out the assignment I had written for class. At first it was all going fine. I said lots of long scientific words to ensure a high grade. Then, slowly at first, a couple of students began to chuckle and giggle. I ignored it, thinking maybe I had just mispronounced a word and they thought it was funny. But then more and more students began to laugh. I stopped reading from my sheet and glanced up and around the room. Even Mr Molina the teacher was chuckling behind his hand. I frowned, then looked back to the class and saw that Mike Newton was pointing at me. I felt a cold draught around my body and froze on the spot. Oh no it must be one of those dreams when you go to school and forget your clothes, and then find out you're just in your underpants. I glanced down quickly. No, it was a lot worse. I didn't even have underpants and…my dick was unusually tiny. I cried out in shock and dropped a hand to cover myself. Perhaps even just a finger would have sufficed to do that. The class erupted in laughs and jeers, but one voice overpowered them all. Edward.

'See! I told you all he has a tiny dick!'

I woke with a start, a cold sweat covering my brow, and I shuddered from the sensation. My chest felt tighter than it had earlier and I could barely catch a breath. I reached for the inhaler on my bedside table and took two deep pulls on the medicine. Edward had better not tell anyone what I wrote in the message. Damn you auto correct!

Thankfully, Friday at school had been its usual uneventful self. People were talking about me, but it wasn't about how under endowed I might be. Instead it was all about the upcoming party tomorrow night. A fair few people came to me during the day, thanking me for the invite but declining the offer as they had prior plans. I didn't mind at all, I hadn't invited them in the first place. To me, the less the better.

I did get some coming to me saying how great this party would be and should they bring anything. I hadn't the money or the shopping list to get supplies or food, so I gave each who asked an item to bring. It was mostly party food, beer, anything else they wanted. Eric even offered to bring a selection of CD's. I doubted anyone would favour the country and western music that dominated the stereo shelves in my lounge, so I designated Eric as the DJ for the night.

I kept my eye out for Edward all day just in case. I saw him a couple of times. At lunch he sat with Bella as usual, and after school he was leaning against his car talking with his sister, Alice, who I assumed was the one wanting to come to the party. She caught my eye and smiled, even gave a small wave, but Edward ignored me completely. I preferred it.

When I got home, the hallway by the door was dominated by two large suitcases. Pa was in the lounge on the phone to my Uncle Peter. He was going through a bad divorce and it was for this reason that my parents were flying back down to Houston until Monday, to help him arrange a new place to live and to deal with paperwork. I would have jumped at the chance to go back to the South for a couple of days, but because of school I wasn't allowed.

Ma came through from the kitchen, already in her coat and ready to go. She told me the cupboards were full so I had plenty of food and sodas. She gave me twenty bucks in case I wanted to order pizza on one of the nights, or to rent a movie. When my pa came off the phone he took the cases out to the car. Ma kissed my cheek, bidding me goodbye and to behave. In less than a minute the car was gone from sight and my hellish weekend nightmare began.

It was times like this that I was grateful that my house was on the far north edge of town. I was surrounded by trees, and the next house along was quarter of a mile away. Eric had put on a CD and the lounge full of Forks High students were up and dancing around. I had no idea what the music was, but everyone seemed to like it. I risked asking Eric what it was. He handed me the CD. I liked the art work on the front. A standard soldier placing a flag in the ground image, and the title said 'Linkin Park'. Apparently that was the band but I had never heard of them. I handed the CD back and left the room for some fresh air.

The lounge was pretty cramped, at least 25 people in there. The kitchen held more as they raided the platters of food each had bought with them. I was just glad they didn't raid the cupboards and help themselves to my weekend stash mama had left for me. Some had bought alcohol and were sat around drinking from bottles and cans. I had put a temporary lock on my pa's whiskey cabinet in the lounge. I sure didn't want to feel his belt when he got back to find his alcohol cabinet had been raided.

The second I stepped out the door I took as deep a breath of the cool night air as my lungs would allow. The chill of the breeze felt wonderful after the claustrophobic atmosphere I had just vacated. To my left I heard what were clearly the sounds of kissing, and a brief glance revealed Newton on the deck chair with Jessica sat astride his lap, her tongue down his throat. I shuddered and quickly looked away, holding back the urge to gag.

For a second I wondered what I would rather have done. Kept my eyes on Newton and Jessica and blown chunks on the ground, or looked away to find Edward stood leaning against the railing and watching me. I sighed and looked away, staring off to the trees and watching the mist swirling around them; but, feeling eyes still on me, I looked back. He was still stood there watching me with humour in his eyes. I bit back a guttural growl and stomped towards him.

'What the fuck do you want, Edward?'

He faked a shocked look and then smiled.

'Me? Want? Nothing, why?'

'Then what the fuck you standing there with a smug look on your face for?'

He chuckled and glanced towards the smooching couple in the corner, and then slowly his green gaze came back to me. He leaned in a little closer, and I fought the urge to pull away as he whispered to me.

'I'm just admiring your tiny dick, Jasper.'

I instantly saw red and raised a fist aiming at him. He held his hands up stepping back against the railing.

'Whoa. Hold on there, cowboy. I was just teasing…I didn't tell anyone like you said.'

I stopped my fist before it could get too near to him; I stared him down but seeing only honesty in his eyes I slowly lowered my hand.

'You didn't?'

He shook his head with another smile and I sighed and looked away, somewhat relieved by that news but also curious as to why he was still stood here.

'Do you really have a tiny dick?'

I turned back to him quickly and he ducked just in case, but laughed.

'Jasper, I'm just joking. Jeez, you need to lighten up. It's not all draw at three paces at sunrise round here you know.'

I hated him. Right in that moment I hated him, him and his stupid jokes; first about what the goddamned auto correct had caused me to write to him, and now about my Texas heritage by hinting at me being a cowboy. Too angry to even respond, I just turned and stepped off the deck and walked away from the house. The mist was cold and surrounding, and once almost in the darkness of the tree line it acted as a comforting cocoon.

I looked back towards the house, I could see the lights on but nothing much else through the mist. I couldn't even see Newton getting lucky on my porch. Sighing, I looked back at the trees to the nearest one and unzipped my fly, beginning relieving myself against the tree. There was no chance of getting in my own bathroom tonight with a queue a mile long to use it. The release on my bladder was ecstasy as I peed up against the tree.

When the flow had stopped and I shook myself a few times to get rid of the drips, a voice nearby shocked me so much I jumped and released myself in fright.

'You completely under estimate yourself, Jasper.'

I squinted through the mist before hearing the steps on the wet grass coming towards me. Edward appeared through the mist and was smiling still. His eyes lowered then slowly raked their way back up to meet my eyes.

'This a hobby of yours? Sneaking up on people taking a leak?'

I muttered pervert under my breath and began to tuck myself back into my pants. Edward stepped forward again, his hand shooting out grabbing my wrist and prevented what I was doing. I looked back up to his eyes and groaned as he pushed me backwards until my back connected with the tree. I grimaced as I felt my still wet piss transfer from the tree to the back of my jeans.

'What the fuck, man! Let me go!'

His grip on my wrist tightened, twisting it back a little to silence my words as he sank to his knees in front of me and used his free hand to retrieve me from my pants. I gasped at the touch. I had never had my cock touched by another before. Well maybe by my parents when I was a baby, but not by a girlfriend, and definitely not by a guy before. It felt strange to feel the sensation on my dick and not through my own hand. I looked down trying to free my wrist from his hand but stopped when I saw the look in his eyes as he stared up at me.

'You're cut…I've never seen a cut one before.'

I swallowed somewhat nervously and found that all I could do was nod my head.

'Definitely not a tiny dick, Jasper.'

He traced his fingers along my length causing a shiver to roll down my spine and a groan to escape without permission from my throat. Before I knew what I was doing, my hips had left the tree and bucked forward to his hand wanting him to do it again. What the hell was wrong with me? I liked girls. If I was completely honest with myself I would own up to liking his younger sister, Alice. But here he was, experimentally stroking his fingers over my cock and I wanted more.

'I'm not gay, Jasper. And I don't think you are either…but I confess I've been watching you a while now…there's just something about you and your text on Thursday night gave me a damned good excuse.'

'Ex…excuse?'

He didn't answer my stuttered question. Instead he leaned closer and flicked his tongue out, touching it to the head of my cock. The tip of his tongue alone felt so warm compared to the cold mist around us. I groaned again and pushed my hips forward to him. He pulled his head back and looked up to me. I met his eyes and we both saw the conflict in each other's. I moved my hips back until my ass touched the tree again and looked away.

'Sorry.'

'Don't be…it's just I've never sucked a cock before, ok? I want to with you but I don't know how and…you just need to go slow, ok? Don't go thrusting and blasting out the back of my head.'

He chuckled but I didn't return it. I just looked back into his eyes and, seeing the look within them, he went quiet.

'Edward I…I've not…before…'

He smiled and I looked away again nipping my bottom lip with my top teeth.

'Never got a girl to go down on you before?'

I shook my head.

'Ever gone down on a girl before?'

I shook my head again and looked back to his eyes.

'Edward…I've never been with a girl before…I'm still a….you know.'

Realisation crossed his eyes and his smile disappeared. He leaned back a little, looking down to my cock then back up to my eyes.

'But I don't want you to stop…you just holding my dick feels good.'

'Jasper, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable…'

'Oh god, please Edward. You can't just grab my dick then run away just coz I'm a virgin… don't do that to me.'

I watched his eyes; he seemed thoughtful though at times it still seemed like he would turn and run. I looked away and closed my eyes, if he left me now I'd have to jerk off against the same tree I had pissed on. I gasped and my eyes flew open as I felt his warm tongue press against the edge of my cock.

Looking back to him, I saw him pull his tongue away again and close his lips over it. His eyes almost rolled in his head as he tasted the single drop of pre-come that his tongue had taken in.

'Please…'

Needing no more instruction, Edward shuffled forward on his knees and pressed his tongue to the underside of my cock where it met my ball sack. I gasped and pressed my hands behind me against the tree, trying hard to keep my hips still. A shiver ran down my spine as he traced his tongue up the length of my erection back to the tip and slit. I was by far no tiny dick. I stood erect above average at almost eight inches and Edward licked the whole length like a popsicle.

It took all the strength within me not to buck into his mouth as it closed around me, sinking back down. Oh fuck, it felt so warm and wet and totally amazing. I'd jerked off with lube before, warming it in my hands, but it no way in hell compared to this.

He hollowed his cheeks and swallowed around me taking the fresh beads of pre-come with him. I wasn't going to last. Already my legs were shaking and my grip on the tree was barely keeping me up. He moved his hands to my hips, sensing I needed the help, and held me firmly back against the tree as he bobbed his head around me.

'Oh fuck, Edward…oh fuck…'

I couldn't think what else to say. I could hardly think at all. I just knew what I was feeling was the most amazing sensation I had ever felt in my whole life. My hips bucked of their own free will, and he pushed me back against the tree. I moaned and tried to buck again, but instead he held me tight and bobbed his head more frantically, taking me in a little more each time.

'Oh fuck, Edward…I'm gonna…'

I trailed off with a moan as I dug my fingernails into the bark of the tree until it hurt. He must have known I was so close. He relaxed his gag reflex muscles and took me in as far as he could in his throat before swallowing again; I was lost.

'Fuck!'

My legs shook violently and I felt my balls pull up tight as an explosion of pleasure rocked through me. Edward swallowed as quickly as he could, over and over, to take down everything he milked from me. His hands were the only things keeping me up now as I gave myself completely over to the pleasure he provided. He slowly released me from his mouth, tracing his tongue all around me to clean every lost drop of come before releasing my hips.

I instantly slumped to the soaked grass, feeling the rain drenched ground spreading the wet through my jeans and briefs. Edward licked his lips and moved to slump down on the ground beside me with a soft chuckle.

'Well that was certainly something new…I would say congratulations on no longer being a virgin, but I think that only counts once you dip your dick in an ass or pussy.'

He smiled, punching my shoulder lightly, and I groaned at the over sensitivity of my entire body. The slightest movement made me shiver, and was made even more sensitive as I tucked my dick back in my pants and zipped the fly carefully.

'Shit…that was…fuck that was amazing, Edward.'

He smiled and leaned back against the tree, licking his lips again.

'Sure was.'

'Edward…I almost hate to ask but…what about Bella?'

'What about her?'

I looked to him almost incredulously.

'You're dating Bella but…you just sucked my dick.'

He shrugged and looked to me with a raised eyebrow as though waiting for me to continue explaining what I thought was pretty fucking obvious.

'Doesn't that make you gay?'

He laughed and shook his head.

'No…I guess I was just a little bi-curious and now I'm not anymore.'

He laughed again, throwing his head back and letting it all out. I was almost afraid and wondered if I should track down a number to a padded cell and get him one of those jackets to make him hug himself.

'Edward?'

He stopped laughing and looked to me before shrugging his shoulders.

'I don't know, Jasper. But I know one thing for sure. You sure as hell don't have a tiny dick…your deck, however, is pretty small for the house size.'

I sighed and rolled my eyes, resting my head back to the tree.

'Goddamn auto correct.'


End file.
